Perils of politeness

Beautiful sunny early Monday morning .. Both my boys are on the field at the soccer practise...Coach Jose at his usual best trying to get his 4 yr old campers .. listening to him-follow directions , learn some soccer skills and above all have fun and burn some energy ... hush ( too many expectations isn't it )  ! About eight moms including me and few dads on the sideline watching, cheering and socialising ... Our typical suburbia scene...

About halfway through the session, coach decides to play a match.. Every time the kid who gets the ball from the coach scores a goal.. ok cool.. everyone is happy... Now coach wants them to grab the ball from each other and play.. ( isn't this how soccer should be played ?) and all these eight kids on the field are LOST ! All good mannered kids raised by mostly educated well to do stay at home moms.....everyone is just kind of running around, looking at each other, trying to figure out what to do... From the sideline, some moms are starting to yell " steal the ball...come on ". Coach Jose calls " No.8 ( thats my boy ) come on get the ball and score "  and here's what I hear on the field...my  little boy ask the kid with ball,  " Excuse me, can I get the ball ? " .....a small laughter and 'oh so sweet' comments erupt on the sideline and I am stunned !! All the accolades I get for being a good mom raising oh so great kids ! yikes...

Somewhere deep within I feel slightly lost... well pampered yet well behaved kids..yes I have two of them....and its not just me .. I have surrounded myself with several moms with similar wave length....after all, our kids can play with other kids only when we plan and approve their playdates.....( isn't it more like if us moms gel, our kids naturally gel well ;) .....Haven't I read and followed enough books to let kids be the  kids... ... maybe its just over analyzed parenting style .... I remember my parents always use to tell me ' try NOT to say NO to kids for a day '... I would just smile and nod my head to them... forget the day or the hour for that matter... questions/introspection/dilemma....think about it friends !

" come on.. steal the ball.. lets go " moms around me are cheering from the sideline and the obedient kids are trying to follow their directions ! Life is so less complicated when you are only four :)

In which language do you think when you speak

My routine trip to the office supply store this morning .. me multi tasking in my business casual clothes roaming the isles , buying stuff while talking with someone on the phone.. nothing exciting so far... no I was not loud or obnoxious.. I never am ;)... There is hardly anyone in this big store....after about five mins I notice a middle age lady well dressed in business suite doing her shopping sort of around the area where I was... the noise of her high heel pumps is slightly annoying ....I may have glanced and light smiled at her .. not exactly remember since I was so busy discussing /solving world problems over the phone..

After another 5-10 mins, I am on my way to cashier's lane... Only one open lane and a person in front of me has problem with price or something...( Murphy's law..always ) Anyway... so I am patiently waiting for them to get the resolution and I see this lady come stand behind me... She said hi and I said hi back... ( maybe vice verse... still not paying to much attention to her) .. and here's how the conversation went after that...

Lady : "Excuse me,but I briefly heard you talk .. you speak very good English "

Hmm...within a flash of second, few thoughts crossed my mind.. Honestly, I don't consider it a complement anymore.... Then I checked and made sure my wedding rock was clearly visible on my finger ( hey, these days you never know when total strangers start praising you ) .. Second thought was probably what was I talking on phone ( no breach of privacy for anyone) .. Third of course was annoyance that this unknown woman had no business listening to me ... and I am sure few more flash thoughts along those lines.. Slightly irritated I just glance back at her and she continuse.

Lady : " you look Indian .. I am always curious what language you people think when you speak .. is it your native language or straight English ? "

By this time, I was greeted by cashier... I turn back and with a straight face I said " neither.. I don't know... maybe in polish " ..

I seriously had no intention of pranking her or anything but I was purely annoyed at her now...  I just wanted to get out and maybe a quick joke to lighten her up along the way.... I am swiping my card at this point so I am almost done.. and I hear her one last time in the back,

Lady : " Oh really, my best friend is Polish too... But sorry you don't look Polish ... are you married to one? "

With a BIG awe and smile on my face I just nodded and walked away... wish I had friend along for a good hard laugh....

This Global Village

Earlier this summer, I posted a status on the facebook about how highly irritated I was with mosquitoes.. A lot of my friends and family from India who read it were very amused by that. Some of them even mentioned that it was the first time they heard about mosquitoes in USA... Seriously... no kidding here ...who knew.... right? even I wasn't aware of them 10+ years ago before making US of A my home... Afterall, its the poor developing third world nations problem.. right ? Talk about America's solid image building .....Now that I think about it, if we were to poll americans , a large majority probably still thinks of India as land of cows, snakes , elephants and what not...Yeah right they handle a vast majority of your outsourced work while herding the cows..... Anyway, good learning lesson on smart and savvy marketing though...... So anyway, we had load and loads of mosquitoes this summer and it sure seemed they multiplied faster than their Indian counterparts ;) And now just before someone thought it can't get any worse, it just did....more juicier in fact.. lately I have seen a lot of stories circulating around the web and media about the bedbug infestation in USA... So much so that its raising enough eyebrows and enough attention in prime time media coverage... My fellow friends, its Bedbugs we are talking... yaik yaik yaik.. Now I see a story that can only match the horror for Halloween maybe ;) afterall , its the house of woods that we all live in ( ok maybe a mansion but don't kid yourself, its all wooden, to the very last beam ;) and everywhere I see there is wood ... all the primo wood mahogany, cherry, maple you name it .. america got it... No wonder bedbugs like it ;) they sensed this land of opportunity ;) wisely... Take it one step further , I wonder if someone in steel and metal industry sensed this opportunity as well? A steel kingpin spreading loads of bedbugs.. attack and destroy the wood- replace with steel... ring in the dollars.. land of opportunity we are talking ;) Oh America , the land of opportunities and immigrants... everything here was suppose to be best of the best.. you may not get enough credit for your achievements but you can't skip the bad rep... no way... just look at the names.. west nile virus, asian carp infestation, asian long horn beetle... do they look indigenous to you at all ? No way.... how could they... ;) Don't get me wrong, bedbugs aren't keeping me up at night.. not yet for sure... But don't think I will be happily coexisting with them either...just sayin... we got through the mosquito, we will get through bedbugs.. Its a village afterall, albeit global, village nevertheless .... till next time happy swatting my friends !!

Paper Planes

Today K and I had wonderful wonderful time playing with our boys... We made lot and lots of paper planes and boats.... just a piece of paper folded few times so it appears as plane or boat....... racing the boats and throwing the planes that can reach the farthest.... plain, simple, easy yet very powerful......... boys had a blast and so did we.... one of those priceless moment to see those two brightly amazed faces and curious sparkling eyes.....a simple sheet of paper was clear winner in keeping them excited-holding their attention so long over anything from three roomful of expertly selected toys....who needs all those fancy, expensive toys when you can have creativity and ability to enjoy simplest things in life.... I remember having same good old time doing the exact same stuff with my father... my cherished, priceless moments....I miss you so much Baba... Thank you so much for giving me all the worldly wisdom and ability to enjoy simplest things in life to the fullest.. That's what life is all about... Boys, mommy and daddy will do a finger/shadow play some time next...

Tribute to my beloved Father

mourning the loss of our beloved father Dr. B. V. Karandikar....... thought of re-publishing the tribute written by his best friend Dr. Suresh Ranade.... the article in marathi so eloquently express all the wonderful memories and exceptional qualities Dr. BVK possessed....... I don't have enough words or courage to write anything more at the moment but I know i will because my father was my first inspiration to writing.... We miss you so dearly Baba ! Your courageous life will be a living memory to all of us!! http://dnyandeep.blogspot.com/2010/07/blog-post.html

Risk aversion or risk assumption ?

Looking at the title, someone might guess its about the wealth management or stock market .. typically it would… but its something totally different… It’s something that mattered to a whole lots of us though… At least my mind for last few months… one of the highly talked about topics of this year… The Swine flu and H1N1 Vaccine… Now you would think, I belong to one of those high risk group who should be worried about this believed to be worst pandemic outbreak of the century ….To the contrary, I don’t.. Currently my state of health seems to be in best of shape. … Besides I am not the type who falls for mass hysteria that easily but sometimes my parenting techniques conflict with that..... And ,I have a long oversees trip coming up shortly and I have twin toddlers who I need to worry about more than anything.. Based on these facts, my quest to get my boys vaccinated began about 2 months ago. Not to mention, the few months before that all the research I did to figure out all about this vaccines. Now for that matter, I am not in medical profession. So I rely heavily on mighty internet to obtain and absorb all the info I can to make an educational judgment. I knew all about precautions to take, about adjuvant squalene type of vaccine and problem of autoimmune disorder and what not ( see I can be very dork and studious if need be ).. I was almost so worried about getting my boys vaccinated that a thought almost crossed my mind to drop the idea altogether… Then I made it to India abruptly and all that I saw on the airport was unnerving.. All the masked up airport personnel made me feel so outcast… Gash… I do not have enough resources to deal with hospitalizations and quarantines and all that entails.. so better safe than sorry… I am back to getting vaccinated again… What followed was the quest to get the actual vaccine. As it’s the case, there is not enough vaccine yet for everyone who needs it. So last few months my pediatrician’s office got a call every other day… no avail there.. Now I am calling all the county health hotlines… finally after a hunt of about 2 months, I got an appointment… lucky me … a week before we start our trip, I landed a spot to get the vaccine. I was praying that I don’t have to wait in line for hours, in 20+ degree cold weather. All my lucky stars had to be in line properly…… and I thought living in the most powerful and most prosperous nation on the earth was enough !! Seriously, something needs to be said about this … why the system is so broke that you can’t manage the simple task of vaccinating all the high risk people better ? why do all those pregnant women and senior citizens and young children had to stand line in cold for hours to get vaccinated? Media blames officials, officials blame media.. who takes the responsibility of the failure? .. and the actual chaos at the facility was so bad that all my questions remain un answered… squalene /no squalene, hygiene/no hygiene… At the end, all it mattered was vaccinated / non vaccinated… Now I wonder, was taking that vaccine and more importantly giving to my young boys was really risk taking or risk aversing? I am not convinced either way… but until next year, I can rest easy!

We need CURE for the cancer... mere awareness is not enough .

Dear Aai, Words are not enough to describe how deeply we all miss you..The whole foundation of me being me seems to have shaken like never before.. It was tough to see you go away so soon.. Time and again, I feel such helpless loser that nothing more I could do to find a cure to stop that rampaging cancer. Now I realize how effortlessly you became the best mother a daughter could wish for. Your positive attitude, your zest for life and your deep empathy for others and above all wonderful memories of all we shared is what we are left with to carry on on with our lives. I wish I had your uncanny sense of knowing what I was feeling even when I was thousands of miles away. And to top it all off, your decision to donate your eyes... what an exemplary life you lived and we got to witness. In October, the World was celebrating Brest Cancer Awareness Month. It was tough to sit in the plane with pink clad crew when I had just lost you. ...symbolic gestures don't save life...Sadly, just being aware of cancer is not enough.. not by any means.. There needs to be a cure for it.. A solid treatment plan for all those who suffer from this dreaded disease. There is no other way around it. No life should become a mere statistical number in the billion/trillion dollar industry. No daughter should have to feel so helpless as I feel, in fighting and loosing their loved ones to cancer.. To have witnessed you handle adversity so bravely and cheerfully will inspire me throughout my entire life. We miss you and we miss you deeply. You would think it gets easier with time. It doesn't. I am just learning to hide it better. In me you live and your spirit I celebrate. ----------------------- No comments pl..